Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
