dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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