Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
