Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Sponge bath it is.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
