That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
