cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I want to have your abortion
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
