the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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