So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.