that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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