ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?