ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
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I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard