Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Its about making memories worth repressing
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.