Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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