nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize