I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
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everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic