Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.