Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
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How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore