apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
