Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
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its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.