I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize