she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.