Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
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i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?