last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
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I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
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i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer