just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.