im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Send us your Text From Last Night!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish they made helmets for livers.