she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Send us your Text From Last Night!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1