YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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