I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.