If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Send us your Text From Last Night!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.