if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
