He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
