I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
