I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
