I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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