i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
