He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.