Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??