Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.