I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?