The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome