He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night