well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here