Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.