I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
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So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.