She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?