It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth