Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.