yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.