Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"