He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.