it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone