Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize