btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.