well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.