Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.