i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
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Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.