Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment