I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.