Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.