I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?