You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
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Is it penis luge time yet?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
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She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.