I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
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Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me