I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.