I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine