Texts From Last Night

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(443): View more from Maryland

remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing

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(443): remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing http://tfl.nu/zq5c

Replies (3) Good night (1778) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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(858): View more from California

I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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(858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z

Replies (6) Good night (515) Bad night (1795) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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(907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls

Replies (38) Good night (8529) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.

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(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/zq8a

Replies (203) Good night (39999) Bad night (3192) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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(312): She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon! http://tfl.nu/58y3

Replies (9) Good night (3989) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9

Replies (24) Good night (2168) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.

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(206): I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light. (1-206): Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had. http://tfl.nu/n63r

Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (1742) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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(760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr

Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (1607) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(508): Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK http://tfl.nu/0izu

Replies (9) Good night (1892) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Um, that's called prostitution

(773): View more from Illinois

Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money

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(917): Um, that's called prostitution (773): Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money http://tfl.nu/jjue

Replies (4) Good night (2599) Bad night (433)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

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(202): Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way? http://tfl.nu/rhdn

Replies (25) Good night (2517) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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(630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt

Replies (8) Good night (623) Bad night (1985)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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(308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7

Replies (5) Good night (685) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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(202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv

Replies (21) Good night (1793) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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(508): I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man. http://tfl.nu/yrla

Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1890) Order T-Shirt

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