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remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
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