I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
