For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
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I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.