Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today