Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down