I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.