All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea