Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
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Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.