U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Send us your Text From Last Night!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...